YIN yang

This lovely lady is surely in touch with her masculine side, but apparently I'm not. I've just started rereading Gabrielle Roth's Sweat Your Prayers , a book that has been on my book shelf for the last 10 years. This is a book I discovered through my friend Robin during my electronic music stage (aka raves) in my early twenties. It is a frankly sexual book that explores ecstatic dance through archetypes, the first two being feminine and masculine, flowing and staccato respectively. After reading her descriptions of these archetypes and their relationship to masculine and feminine qualities I discovered how strongly feminine I am.

This comes as a bit of a shock; I've always considered my strong independent streak as a sign of masculinity. Friends and lovers have protested by saying I'm very soft and feminine, but I've dismissed them. Roth describes femininity as awareness, inspiration and substance and masculinity as action, discipline and form. I'm sorely lacking in the energy I need to accomplish things in the real world. I have paintings in my head that never take shape. I let a recent love be completely careless with me as I patiently excused his behavior due to his circumstance rather than standing up for what I needed. I'm leaving for Central America on savings that should have gone into my RRSP.

Of the three masculine archetypes Roth describes, 'Father' is most absent within me. I need a Daddy that will march in and tell me to clean my room, forget about any guy who doesn't mean it, finish my 5 year plan and get my ass in the studio and paint. I need a firm hand and some tough love. And by 'Daddy' I'm talking about a part of myself that needs developing, not someone I need to attract. Can I develop this side of me by dancing? It sure is fun so lets see where it goes. Now I just need to put down the book and do the practice...

(Images via the Sartorialist and The Hindu )

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